Posts Tagged Mehmet Oz

What Is Your Real Age? Dr. Oz Wants You To Change It.

English: Hair scissor for thinning hair Deutsc...

English: Hair scissor for thinning hair Deutsch: Modellierschere (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So I took the Real Age test.  It’s available from Dr. Oz’s site.

If you want to know your real age, figure out what year you were born, and figure out what year it is.  Subtract the year you were born from this year, and you have a rough estimate of your real age.

If you want a medical gimmick for your real age, feel free to give a computer program your contact information, your birthdate, and an enormous amount of personal medical information highly tailored to your previous answers.  I knew I was in trouble when the computer asked me who had diagnosed my thinning hair and I checked self rather than saying a licensed professional had diagnosed it.

The problem with any sort of computer simulation is that it only asks questions about known or reasonable risk factors.  There should have been a great deal more on family history.  If you want to know how long you’ve got, look at when all your grandparents died.  Factor in whether they smoked like chimneys or drank like a waterfall, and you have a good idea of how long you’ll live.  Knowing that I’m officially RealAge 37.7 (I like the .7) isn’t much help if all my family kicked off in their early forties.

I had an irrational urge to cheat on the Real Age questions.  What if I claimed to be a svelte female me?  Would I live longer?  What if I claimed I smoked like a chimney?  Would that age me overnight?  What difference did it make that I checked thinning hair rather than the tempting “no illnesses.”  Why did they even ask about thinning hair?  Is it really an aging factor?  Did it age me because of the “thick haired men look younger” gene?

I think they should add a section to the Real Age answer sheet where they explain what the “right” answers would have been.  How are you supposed to improve your real age if you don’t have a clear picture of what you’re missing?  Oh, that’s right.  I’ll get pieces of my “right” answers in the mail, tailored to keeping me hooked on an endless supply of pamphlets and overpriced supplements.  Even as we speak, a pamphlet for thinning hair is winging its way through the internet ether to land with a solid thud at my email door.  Now that I’ve given my health information away, all I can expect is an endless parade of people who want to fix the boxes I checked.

So what’s my real age?  It’s not 37.7.  First I take the current year, then I deduct the year I was born…

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Eat More, Weigh Less. Dr. Oz Talks About the All Calories Are Equal Myth.

English: Macro photograph of a pile of sugar (...

Image via Wikipedia

Ranting and venting, with some humor.

In the fallout from the sugar is evil news, now we’ll find out that different foods make a difference in how much weight you put on from Dr. Oz.

One of my favorite things to suggest to the calories in=calories out folks is that they consume all of their calories for a week as straight sugar.  I have not found any takers, despite the ubiquitous “just eat less and exercise more” broken record.

There are, however, a number of sites that talk about going off sugar.  They are worth going to just for a “but for the grace of God…” ogle.  I love this Valentine’s Day post about the joys of unsweetened carob chips.  It won’t fly in Whoopie Pie country.

If you’re familiar with my writing, you’ll know I’ve literally put my body where my mouth is.  Online, you can read a year of my weight.  That’s right, a year, with notations on what makes a difference for me.  What did I find?  That my weight fluctuates far more than fat accumulation would address.  It also DOES NOT correlate to calories in=calories out.

I wish it did.  I really do.  It would be so simple to just avoid food for a while, but it doesn’t work.  So when I see M.D.s peddling that to their patients, I just want to hand them a five pound bag of granulated sugar and say:  “Here you go!  Think of the cost savings for this week!  You get this and water.  At the end of the week if you still have a liver and haven’t succumbed to an insulin coma we’ll talk about how food isn’t all equal.”

How do we tell how many calories a food has?  We burn it.  That’s right.  Then measure the amount of heat it gave off.  That’s the science behind it.  How is that even close to the body process?  Maybe if we were tin woodpeople with furnace stomachs it would be accurate.

So could we all legitimately just drop the calories thing?  It doesn’t work, it’s never worked.  When people lose weight they do so my choosing different foods that do a variety of different things to their bodies.   If they lose weight due to those foods, it has much more to do with an extraordinary dance of complexity as the biochemistry of their body shifts than it has to do with what that food gives off as heat when exploded.

 

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