Posts Tagged Bath Salt

Bath salts, drug alleged “face-chewer” Rudy Eugene may have been on, plague police and doctors – Crimesider – CBS News

A senior police officer of the Hamburg police ...

A senior police officer of the Hamburg police on assignment at Hamburg city hall, Germany. Français : Capitaine de la police de Hambourg en faction devant l’hôtel de ville de Hambourg, en Allemagne. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bath salts, drug alleged “face-chewer” Rudy Eugene may have been on, plague police and doctors – Crimesider – CBS News.

If you’ve looked at my previous post on face eating people (just use Zombie-B-Gone), I called this one right.

People selling bath salts should be sued for truth in advertising.  They need to tell people that they will go insane, rip off their clothes and be a terrible menace to themselves and their friends until they are sedated and held down by eight police officers.  Hoo boy, what a great trip?  Why would you do that to yourself?

If I was a police officer, I would seriously be asking for maximum penalties for anyone selling this stuff.  It turns a human being into a berserker.  That’s what we need to change the name to:  Berserker Salts.  Then people at least know the kind of “high” they’ll be experiencing.

Truthfully, if you want to live in hell for a few hours, get a round trip ticket to any of the world’s slums or conflicts.  You can walk around in the slum, get beat up and shot at, and bring post cards back.  It’s just like bath salts but you can skip the whole “Satan whispering in my ear” soundtrack.

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Bath Salts Add Flesh Eating to Their Side Effects

English: Computed tomography images of necroti...

Image via Wikipedia

In a turn for the downright macabre, a female bath salts use was partially eaten after her indulgence in injecting bath salts generated necrotizing fasciitis (that’s bacteria eating you alive).

Above is true, below is humor.

Trying to exploit the trend, drug manufacturers are advertising the “piranha soak,” where patients indulge in bath salts while being eaten by actual piranha.  “Man, such a high!” said one recently created amputee.  “It’s like all that adrenaline from being eaten just mixes with the whole crazy paranoia and gibbering that the salts gives me.  It even beats the high I got getting hit by that semi a month ago.”

Medical personnel were vaguely supportive of the new trend.  “Currently it takes eight people to restrain a bath assaulter.  Two for each limb.  Fewer limbs means fewer personnel required per assaulter.”  Other assaulters had this to say:  “the devil man, the devil is in my head!”

Why anyone would want to inject or use this synthetic mix of amphetamines is beyond me.

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