Dr. Oz is promoting a thirty-day flat belly diet. “In only 30 days, you can have the flat belly you’ve always dreamed of! That’s the promise made by Brett Hoebel, a weight-loss guru who’s designed a miracle formula for flat abs.”
Doesn’t it sound like every infomercial you’ve ever heard? With before and after photos of ex-models who’ve gained a few pounds and worked them off in thirty days? So now it works for everyone! You, yes you mr. oxygen dependent emphysema patient, can get a flat belly in thirty days! And you, lady who now weighs a thousand pounds because she’s trying to win some personal record, drop all that weight in thirty days! Not gonna happen.
So let’s change it to “healthy people being slightly healthier in thirty days.” Less catchy, but attainable.
- Sweet Potato
- Brown Rice Cakes
- Leafy Greens (broccoli, spinach, asparagus, lettuce, kale, chard etc.)
Bonus Food: Beans. Legumes are a great source of protein, carbs, good fats and fiber.
Then we start the day with an anti-bloat smoothie. But look at the ingredients. My shopping list didn’t include my fresh mint garnish! And my probiotic straws, where are my probiotic straws! (Oh, for crying out loud. Dip a regular straw in yogurt and call it probiotic.)
The meals are all from the “starve-u-R-us” recipe book. Try adding a bit of cinnamon to your one sweet potato. You might just forget you’re starving. But what is this? I need ten grams of glutamine and not just CLA but Tonalin CLA? Doggone it, now I’ve got to hit the all-night GNC to get my fat burning supplements.
And exercise? Where’s that component? Oh, I can do the five-minute fat burning workout three times a week and that will cover me. Of course, if that’s all I do, I’ll end up tearing something or hurting something by week two, but never mind that. Jump and dance.
The only way this plan will give you a flat belly in thirty days is to heat it up, with my new Hot Coals Oompa Loompa! (patent pending). Do all of the above, but add a ten-by ten foot bed of hot coals (recycled food logs from fair marketed renewable crops). Every day, twice a day, spend ten minutes on a bed of hot coals. There’s no instructional tape. You just do what comes naturally on a bed of hot coals, and watch those pounds literally melt away!
- The Flat Belly Diet (everydayhealth.com)
- The Turbochargers: Weight Loss from Dr. Oz. (alternativendhealth.wordpress.com)
- Nutritionist Cynthia Sass, Coauthor of the New York Times Bestseller Flat Belly Diet!, Delivers the Ultimate Weight Loss Plan in CINCH! (prweb.com)
- Will Using Safflower Oil Help You Lose Weight? (alternativendhealth.wordpress.com)
- 6 Diets for Men (health.usnews.com)
- The S.A.S.S. Yourself Slim Healthy Lifestyle (scrapsofmygeeklife.com)
- Diets for Women: 7 Plans That Target Ladies (health.usnews.com)
- Probiotics and Weight Loss (everydayhealth.com)
- Best Exercises For Belly Fat (answers.com)
- The Feeding Tube Diet: A Magical Weight-Loss Solution? | The Dr. Oz Show (humanbodyengineer.wordpress.com)
- Dr. Maloney Does a Diet, Timothy Ferriss Style. (alternativendhealth.wordpress.com)
- Belly Fat: A Danger to Your Health (everydayhealth.com)
- Dr. Oz’s 10 Weight-Loss Commandments Reworked (alternativendhealth.wordpress.com)
- The Dr. Oz Impossible Question, One Word, And The Free “Ultimate Weight Loss Guide” (alternativendhealth.wordpress.com)
- Dr. Oz And His 48 Hour Cleanse: How To Do It Without The Grocery List (alternativendhealth.wordpress.com)
- Dr. Oz’s HCG Diet Plan Explained (answers.com)
- You: Does raspberry ketones dr oz have any side effects (sportsviews.com)