Archive for April, 2012

Monkeypox mix-up caused by bedbugs.

Human monkeypox lesions

Human monkeypox lesions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mom\\\\\\\’s monkeypox mix-up caused by bedbugs and concerned grandma, son says – HealthPop – CBS News.

Ok, I just read this article and I read it this way: grandma calls the hospital about bug bites.  Hospital calls the CDC.  CDC goes Rambo and quarantines the plane.

Which brings up the legitimate question, who was playing with monkeys?  If monkey pox can only be transmitted by monkey “blood, bodily fluids, or rashes” then when did anyone suspect these children had been wrestling with monkeys?  Wouldn’t that have been a really good question to ask mom before quarantining a plane?  “Ma’am, have your children had intimate contact with a monkey recently?  Sharing food, rubbing bodies, that sort of thing?  Did they perhaps eat raw monkey or drink monkey blood before boarding?”  Now that would be an interview I’d like to see online.  Instead, they didn’t do any interviewing and decided it was monkey pox because children overseas are all obviously monkey pox candidates.

It occurs to me that all I’d need to do these days is mention the word “pox” or even sneeze wrong in an international flight to see myself in quarantine.

So, eerily, when does it all end?  Who monitors the CDC to let them know when they are out of line?  Who watches the Watchmen?  And who makes the next monkey pox call?

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2nd Heart Attack Grill Victim? Woman Collapses While Eating Burger | Reuters

Supersize Me !! -- The bypass burger strikes a...

Supersize Me !! -- The bypass burger strikes again! ... Heart Attack Grill -- 23 April 2012 (Las Vegas) .. (Photo credit: marsmet491)

2nd Heart Attack Grill Victim? Woman Collapses While Eating Burger | Reuters.

Another victim of the Heart Attack Grill.  Further down the street, at the “STD Bar,” three dozen patrons frolicked and contracted things from each other.  Is it any wonder we have the highest health care bills in the world?

I heard today that New Zealand is considering raising the price of a pack of cigarettes to a hundred dollars.  What would you pay for your vices?

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The Feeding Tube Diet: A Magical Weight-Loss Solution? | The Dr. Oz Show

With her feeding tube

With her feeding tube (Photo credit: jystewart)

The Feeding Tube Diet: A Magical Weight-Loss Solution? | The Dr. Oz Show.

I have a question about getting a feeding tube inserted down your nose and into your stomach.  Is that a covered medical expense, or strictly out of pocket?

(The following is HUMOROUS.  That means don’t do it.  But think about it before you have a feeding-tube inserted.)

The layman’s feeding tube diet:

1) long piece of duct tape.

2) one straw.

Instructions:

Pierce duct tape.  Insert straw through duct tape.

Place duct tape with straw over mouth.

Drink only one 800 calorie shake through straw.  Have as much water as you’d like.

Do not remove duct tape until weight loss is achieved.

Duct tape.  It’s what’s good about America.

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Vitals – Dental X-rays can double brain tumor risk, study finds

CNS Germinoma, MRI saggital with contrast. Als...

CNS Germinoma, MRI saggital with contrast. Also see 50px (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Vitals – Dental X-rays can double brain tumor risk, study finds.

In a bizarre twist, the researchers who discovered the risk increase back pedaled even as they announced their findings.  They talked about “recall bias” of patients who do have tumors (they are more likely to have thought back to all those dental x-rays and thought…mmmm….I wonder?)and don’t want people to panic.

They also went out of their way to say that this particular brain cancer isn’t actually that bad.  (Compared to what?  A puppy?  Or a grizzly bear?)

Here’s a tip from the rest of us.  If you don’t want us to panic, don’t tell us that dental x-rays double our risk of brain cancer.

But of course they do.  Radiation increases cancer risk.  All radiation.  So when you get your head irradiated every year, your chances of getting cancer go from .000001 to .00001 percent.  It’s still small, but it’s significant over time.

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