Mmmmm…. lentil loaf. Now that’s good eatin’. I like to get my lentils fresh from a local farmer. We swing the lentils around til they’re dizzy, then chop their heads off. I hate the smell of all those wet lentil feathers, but boy oh boy, nothing like a juicy lentil drumstick!
Seriously, what crazed veggie came up with Tofurky? “I know, Day Blossom, let’s take our soy protein and fashion it into the facsimile of a turkey. It’ll fool our bourgeoise guests as long as they do enough shrooms before sitting down. Better put some more shrooms in the stuffing, this stuff is nasty.”