Archive for category Humor
Today should have been a very bad day.
It was one of those sunny New England fall days when you just have to get outside. Since my house is shaded, I had no leaves to rake. So it was time to get the bikes out for a ride.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t fixed the bikes. But I had purchased what I needed. I had a new valve for the back tire of my son’s bike, and I had a doo-hickey to help me shorten the chain on my bike so it doesn’t come unglued every time I go uphill (nothing quite like a chain losing its cool and jumping the tracks when you’re half way up a long hill).
So, feeling smug, I took out my equipment and started. After all, I have an advanced degree and got a fairly high score on my SATs back when they were the “real” SATs. So I should be able to master a few gears.
First problem. My son’s valve doesn’t just not work. It has broken into bits. Bits that I proceed to jam down into the tire with a tiny screw driver. So I do what any man would do. I move on, leaving the first project unfinished.
Anyone who has tried to shorten a chain will appreciate the following. Anyone who has not tried to shorten a chain should run screaming from the prospect. If necessary, purchase a new bicycle before engaging in this particularly brutal form of masochism.
An hour later, I was no closer. But I’d just been reading Dale Carnegie, so I had that “can do until I’m dead” attitude. Didn’t help much.
I can only describe the following in miraculous terms. I hit upon the idea of using one bit of chain to “channel” the bit of steel I needed into the chain I was now trying to repair. It worked beautifully. How that idea came to me after an hour of jiggering, I’ll never know.
Looking back at my first unfinished project, I hit upon the idea of simply pumping up the tire, letting the bits of the first valve hold in the air. It worked. I have no logical explanation.
So we got our afternoon bike ride. Not really any thanks to me. Maybe we all look for “major” miracles in our daily lives, when it is really the minor miracles that matter.
- Upcycled Bike Parts (coolmaterial.com)
- Learn bicycle maintenance (greenreview.blogspot.com)
- Regular bike maintenance keeps riders happy for more miles (caller.com)
- 14 Bike Flats and Counting (lifeonthefrontporch.wordpress.com)
- Get a ‘Rush’ of your own on a fixed-gear bicycle (abqjournal.com)
- How To Paint Your Own Bike (abeautifulmess.com)
- Riding beautifully. Almost. (yorkshirerambler.wordpress.com)
- Bike workshop proves popular (stuff.co.nz)
- Is it too dangerous to cycle? (guardian.co.uk)
- 29 Faces in September; A minor miracle (ziggyshortcrust.wordpress.com)
In order to shorten the trip between houses, engineer Jim Sysko built one of the longest ziplines in the world. Now his fifteen minute commute is down to two minutes. Can city ziplines be far behind?
- Tough Mountain Challenge is a different kind of challenge (bangordailynews.com)
- 2 Rhode Island men seriously injured in ATV collision (bangordailynews.com)
- Robots to aid vital hospital care (bbc.co.uk)
- NTU’s new loo turns poo into power (eurekalert.org)
If you don’t care about the discussion, just skip down to the boo-boo in bold.
In my recent post about most scientific studies being wrong, I began questioning the very basis for evidence-based medicine. How can we know what we know? When we do a large scale human study, we have to trust the results. We can’t run off to a lab and have them do it again.
So I thought a quick check into alternative medicine advances might be in order. As expected, most studies are small and underfunded compared to the massive studies produced by drug companies. And it is those massive drug studies that are in question for their ability to give us truthful answers about what will work. If they cannot be reproduced in a consistent manner, then what chance does alternative medicine have?
There is another avenue for medical knowledge, largely disregarded by current researchers but widely used by the public. It is the school of what works. One of the basics, something we are taught from the school yard, is that ice helps boo-boos. In more medical terms, cryotherapy is largely regarded at efficacious for the treatment of minor acute trauma. But is it true?
Do Boo-Boos Get Better With Ice?
According to the Cochrane Meta-Analysis entitled: Does Cryotherapy Improve Outcomes With Soft Tissue Injury? (free full article here) the researchers concluded: “no authors have assessed the efficacy of ice in the treatment of muscle contusions or strains.”
That’s right, mothers across America. You are applying ice to those boo-boos without a shred of scientific evidence that the ice is effective.
Yes, icing has been shown to be effective after: “ligament repairs and knee and hip replacements. The results of these studies cannot be generalized to muscle strains and contusions.”
But ice works? You’ve seen it work? Mere anecdotal evidence. Unreliable and prone to patient bias. The researchers tenatively regarded ice as possibly helpful for pain, but concluded that: “Many more high-quality studies are required to create evidence-based guidelines on the use of cryotherapy.”
So until they do that, don’t waste your hard-earned health care dollars on ice cube trays and washcloths.
Let’s all wait until definitive studies conclude that ice does indeed help with boo-boos. It may not happen anytime soon, because ice is not patentable (although you know they keep trying). So we may need to create the “Boo-Boo Foundation” to fund ice research. Get ready to march in “Stop the Boo-Boos” marches and send your dollars in. Who knows? In a few decades we might just be able to apply ice to those bumps with the knowledge that it actually works.
Or, if you’ve been following the discussion about studies, we might conclude that good-hearted researchers might want to spend a little less time in the lab and a little more time in the playground. If they banged themselves on the monkey bars, they might just ask for a little ice.
Some things, because they work consistently and well, do not have research. Giving a hug and a kiss are also tried-and-true, unscientific, aids for boo-boo relief.
- I feel like a five year old with a boo boo. Help me take care of my knee. (ask.metafilter.com)
- Ode to an Ice Pack (thefridaynightwine.wordpress.com)
- Being a Klutz (theascentblog.com)
- I Heart First Aid Kits (womanmdsguide.com)
- 13 handy uses for ice cubes (mnn.com)
- Lessons From A Broken Nose (mydisruption.wordpress.com)
- Panthers Smith bruises knee, held out of practice (wcnc.com)
- My Worst Day As A Youth Sports Coach (ashimmy.com)
- Salute to ice packs!!!! (theaveragebookenthusiast.wordpress.com)
- Will Muschamp clarifies Jeff Driskel’s shoulder injury (jacksonville.com)
As the number of scientific studies exponentially mount, surely we are advancing scientific inquiry at an ever increasing rate. But perhaps we are simply increasing the scientific “noise.”
Enter the Reproducibility Initiative, which will try to reproduce your findings for you by an independent lab. Yes, we’ve come to a point where you will need to pay to have the results you think you have confirmed by someone else.
Consider the NewsDaily’s article that “Bayer Healthcare reported that its scientists could not reproduce some 75 percent of published findings in cardiovascular disease, cancer and women’s health.” Or that “Amgen reported that when the company’s scientists tried to replicate 53 prominent studies in basic cancer biology, hoping to build on them for drug discovery, they were able to confirm the results of only six.”
How is that possible? Don’t we have scientists dedicated to publishing whatever results occur?
Anyone who remembers science class knows the answer. When you got the results you expected, you didn’t go over the equipment and the method with a fine toothed comb. You assumed you did the experiment right and turned it in. Only when you got wildly odd results that didn’t agree with what you were looking for in the slightest did you go back over your method and equipment to find the error. Even if you had the highest ethics, it would be perfectly possible to miss some error as long as the results fell into a “reasonable” outcome.
Having more people do the same testing can lead to better results, but if you are all testing in the same area and watching one another’s results, chances are good that you started looking for the same results in your experiments. A friendly classmate might even help you by telling you how to change your equipment to get a desired result. So more tests do not necessarily lead to more accurate results.
In this appetizing little mathematical jaunt, the author takes us down the reality that false positives are far more likely than finding the truth. Even before we add in publication bias, tenure track pressures, and financial incentives, it is just too easy to find the results you’re looking for. The author Ioannidis states: “manipulation could be done, for example, with serendipitous inclusion or exclusion of certain patients or controls, post hoc subgroup analyses, investigation of genetic contrasts that were not originally specified, changes in the disease or control definitions, and various combinations of selective or distorted reporting of the results. Commercially available “data mining” packages actually are proud of their ability to yield statistically significant results through data dredging.”
So just how many of us are taking drugs created for an illness, supported by studies created to support that drug’s ability to treat that illness, and prescribed by doctors who believe that the drug will effectively treat our illness despite all of our claims that the drug really isn’t working? Meanwhile we as patients want to have something that works for our illness, so we spend a lot of time giving the drug “time to work” when it really never does anything to help us.
As someone who works in the alternative healthcare field, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. It feels like the rug just got pulled out from under all the work we’ve done to start bringing the field up to the standard of scientific inquiry. Suddenly what was clinically relevant information is in question, and the standard drugs that we’re trying to compare to the alternatives are also in question. How do we know what works?
Fortunately, I’ve got an ace up my sleeve. I’ve been working with ornery, independent minded patients for years who don’t mince words when things don’t work. So I’ve got an ongoing practice based on what is working in the field, using my patients as my resources. Maybe it is time for all doctors to use their patients, rather than the drug reps, as their resource for what really works.
- “No.. Not Yet”:Answering the Patient’s Request for “Off Label Use” of a Drug (bioethicsdiscussion.blogspot.com)
- Shoring Up the Mantra of Science: Take Nobody’s Word for It (reason.com)
- Why scientists seem to change their minds (kirstyevidence.wordpress.com)
- Good Scientist! You Get a Badge. (slate.com)
- R&D experts applaud new initiative to validate biomedical studies (fiercebiotech.com)
- Glaxo’s Experimental Drug Halves Asthma Attacks in Study – Bloomberg (bloomberg.com)
- Experimental cancer drug makes mice infertile without side effects, scientists claim male birth control discovery (cbsnews.com)
- Amgen Halts Pancreatic Cancer Trial After Drug Failure – Bloomberg (bloomberg.com)
- Study off Mass. coast finds noise harming whales (bostonherald.com)
- Trusting the science (scienceornot.net)
In a bizarre twist, I was looking for information on the “Laughter Yoga” movement and happened upon presentation notes (click for link) from a couple who must have faces like lemon eaters and attitudes to match.
Before we enter into this couple’s work, let me say I just attended a Laughter Yoga workshop and you never hurt quite that much doing anything as laughing for fifteen minutes. Afterward, I felt closer to the people around me and we had a wonderful conversation for several hours afterwards. But evidently, it was all in my mind.
According to the “lemon-eaters,” I couldn’t possibly have felt better, I just thought I did. “These results suggest that, although high humor individuals do not seem to have objectively better health, they are somewhat more subjectively satisfied with their health.”
and more likely to be obese.”
My goodness, it’s horrible, this laughter. An addiction I tell you! Quick, join the LA (Laughers anonymous).
But it’s also a terrible use of medical resources, didn’t you know? “Baptist East Hospital in Louisville, Kentucky has a player piano, humorous books, cartoon albums, and Nintendo game sets for patients and family members to use together.”
Dreadful, dreadful, all this family time and joyful material. Don’t those parents know that laughter can make their children obese? They should be very careful putting the material in a hospital, because: “People have individualized senses of humor, and what makes one person laugh might annoy or insult someone else.”
But do not fear, the lemon eaters have already lost. “Almost every major hospital in the United States now uses clowns, pets, clergy, and humor intervention as a regular part of their care systems.” Really, I don’t recall clowns or dogs available in the local ER.
And what are we to make of the inclusion of ”clergy” into the above statement. Are religious ministers inherently funny? I think adding in clergy gives the lemon eaters a much broader “threat” than if they just included hospitals that had clowns. I think the clergy were there before the laughter movement took hold. The tip off here is that the clergy are usually available for condolences for the grieving. I have yet to see one with a red rubber nose and tiny bicycle peddling for the cancer wards.
So what are we to make of the lemon eaters? Evidently someone needs a stooges film festival and a whoopie cushion, STAT!
- Meet the people who use humor to heal. (my.psychologytoday.com)
- Central Library to Hold Laughter Yoga Session (arlnow.com)
- Refit your company with a GLOWING BOTTOM LINE. (lifesbrilliance.wordpress.com)
- Humor Therapy and Cancer (everydayhealth.com)
- The Power of Humor (omtimes.com)
- Laughter Yoga Is No Laughing Matter (odditycentral.com)
- Is Laughter the Best Medicine? (arganesh3.wordpress.com)
- The Health Benefits of Laughter (everydayhealth.com)
- Visionkeeper – Life’s Tough! Laugh… – 14 June 2012 (lucas2012infos.wordpress.com)
- In excess ……… (mindmindful.wordpress.com)
- Meet the people who use humor to heal. (psychologytoday.com)
- Laughter Yoga, 20 minutes a day…And how it CAN Improve The Bottom Line In Business! – Ecademy (lifesbrilliance.wordpress.com)
- Polarizing Moon (yogacarechallenge.wordpress.com)
- Have a Laugh (healthywealthyhq.com)
- Laughter Yoga (opheritage.wordpress.com)
- World Laughter Day! (realmanure.wordpress.com)
When did reality become a mad house? Did I miss the “Last Exit Before Insanity” turn off? Now all we need is to remix this title with some political news and really let the fun begin.
- Vampire jumping spiders identify victims by their antennae (eurekalert.org)
- ‘Vampire spiders’ spot victims by antennae (nadernazemi.com)
- Vampire jumping spiders identify victims by their antennae (phys.org)
- How Vampire Spiders Choose a Blood Meal (livescience.com)
- How vampire spiders spot victims (bbc.co.uk)
- Vampire Spiders Select Insect Victims Based on Antennae (theepochtimes.com)
- Vampire jumping spiders identify victims by their antennae (scienceblog.com)
- How Vampire Spiders Choose a Blood Meal (gingerjar2.wordpress.com)
- To study vampire spiders, build Frankenstein mosquitoes (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
- Jumping Spider (oopcheggz.wordpress.com)
Bath salts, drug alleged “face-chewer” Rudy Eugene may have been on, plague police and doctors – Crimesider – CBS News
If you’ve looked at my previous post on face eating people (just use Zombie-B-Gone), I called this one right.
People selling bath salts should be sued for truth in advertising. They need to tell people that they will go insane, rip off their clothes and be a terrible menace to themselves and their friends until they are sedated and held down by eight police officers. Hoo boy, what a great trip? Why would you do that to yourself?
If I was a police officer, I would seriously be asking for maximum penalties for anyone selling this stuff. It turns a human being into a berserker. That’s what we need to change the name to: Berserker Salts. Then people at least know the kind of “high” they’ll be experiencing.
Truthfully, if you want to live in hell for a few hours, get a round trip ticket to any of the world’s slums or conflicts. You can walk around in the slum, get beat up and shot at, and bring post cards back. It’s just like bath salts but you can skip the whole “Satan whispering in my ear” soundtrack.
- Reports: Miami cannibal attacker may have been high on ‘bath salts’ (kdvr.com)
- You: Bath Salts Had Role in Face-Eating? (thedailybeast.com)
- Reports: Miami Cannibal Attacker May Have Been High on ‘Bath Salts’ (fox8.com)
- Reports: Miami ‘zombie’ attacker may have been using ‘bath salts’ (news.blogs.cnn.com)
- If You Use Drugs, You Might End Up Eating Someone’s Face (reason.com)
- Cannibal In Florida Believed To Have Been High On “Bath Salts” (jonathanturley.org)
- Did Face Eating Suspect Take Bath Salts Before Attack? (myteensavers.wordpress.com)
- Bath Salts May Be Involved In Face Eating Attack (homedrugtestkit.wordpress.com)
- 10 Terrifying Reasons Why You Should NEVER Get High On Bath Salts (buzzfeed.com)
- Officals claim Miami #Zombie, Rudy Eugene, ingested ‘bath salts’ (mccannexposure.wordpress.com)
How does it work?
Let’s let them explain the procedure first. (From Huffington Post)
“If there was a snake in the room, all of our blood pressures would go up, appropriately so,” explained interventional cardiologist Dr. Manesh Patel of Duke University. But sometimes those nerves stay switched on when they shouldn’t be. The hope is that destroying a small number of the nerves could calm an overactive system, relaxing arteries and lowering blood pressure.”
Ok, let me recap. Stress causes our blood pressures to rise. It is a necessary part of staying alive. But in some people, this stress continues to be a problem. Make that all people, but some of us have more resilient arteries. So the “new” solution is to cut off the nerve response so your body cannot respond to stress by producing nasty blood pressure raising adrenaline. Why not just severe the spinal cord and be done with it? Probably on next year’s list of options: “you’ll need help to breath, but boy, that blood pressure sure dropped.”
How well does this severing of the nerves work? In small studies, it takes about 33 points off the upper range, as long as you stay on all your other medications. And does it work long term? We don’t know, because we’re just starting larger trials. And we have no long term results.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, yeah, cutting your nerves will work short term in some people. But long term you keep up that stress, and you’re going to see that blood pressure rise back up.
Heck, you know what really drops blood pressure? A newsectomy. Let’s do a side-by-side trial of the people who get this lovely procedure with people who cannot look at the news for thirty days. I bet you that the newsectomy is twice as effective.
What gets me about blood pressure is that we haven’t shown that lowering blood pressure prolongs people’s lives overall. A slight decrease in stroke risk, and yes if you’ve had a heart attack. But take your healthy eighty-year-old with slight hypertension, and you’re not going to see any more life if you control it with six meds.
But that doesn’t matter. For this procedure, they’re getting fourteen thousand dollars in Europe. That means about thirty thousand here in the U.S. So it’s going to be rolled out.
Here’s a truly radical idea. Let’s give the patients the thirty thousand dollars. I’m betting that would bring down their blood pressures. It might even lead them to take a holiday or get out of the situation that is causing the blood pressure elevation. Let’s do a study testing the procedure versus giving the patients the cash. I volunteer for the control group!
- New US test procedure treats hypertension by zapping nerves (todayonline.com)
- Drastic method targets hard-to-treat hypertension (msnbc.msn.com)
- New approach tested for hard-to-treat hypertension (sfgate.com)
- New approach tested for hard-to-treat hypertension (usatoday.com)
- New approach tested for hard-to-treat hypertension (timesleader.com)
- New approach tested for hard-to-treat hypertension (tbo.com)
- New approach tested for hard-to-treat hypertension (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
- New approach tested for hard-to-treat hypertension (hosted.ap.org)
- New approach tested for hard-to-treat hypertension (kansascity.com)
- New approach tested for hard-to-treat hypertension (ctv.ca)
- New approach tested for hard-to-treat hypertension (mysanantonio.com)
In a scene out of every zombie movie, a policeman shot a man who was eating another man’s face.
A whole bunch of questions arise about this scenario, which was captured on the Miami Herald‘s security cameras. After watching the video, I realized all the action took place in the far left corner, and all you see is a police car drive up and some movement under the bridge. Even at the end when the camera pans in closer you get a PG view of the man’s legs.
Oh, did I forget to mention the man was naked? All the news media have focused on that. He was naked. Very important detail. I’m much more interested in why he was lunching on his buddy’s face. I don’t care if he was wearing a bowler hat and tuxedo. It’s the cannibalism, not the nudity, that should be reportable here.
But, given he was naked and had decided to play out a scene from Living Dead or any other zombie movie, let’s make a few assumptions about this particular individual.
One, he was probably not an escaped Hannibal Lector. Usually that would have led to a nationwide warning. He was someone who decided that his buddy’s face looked yummy, without a prior history of that behavior. (How did Hannibal make it through kindergarten?)
Two, he took off his clothes in Miami. It’s pretty hot, but chances are he was really hot. What drug do we know combines serious hallucinations with internal heat that causes even people in Maine to shed their clothing? That’s right, bath salts.
So I’m making a prediction that this fellow was flying high on bath salts. Which makes me kind of leery about being in the Miami area this weekend. If the particular mix this guy took sent him this far off the edge, chances are more is floating around. (There are many, many different variations on bath salts. None of them are at all smart or “cheap.” Going insane is NOT a cheap high.)
- Man eating another man’s face: ‘It was the most gruesome thing I’ve ever seen’ (thestar.com)
- Man continues to eat another man’s face even after being shot (mccannexposure.wordpress.com)
- Man Chews off Another Man’s Face Video (ramanan50.wordpress.com)
- Witness describes face eating man shot by police – Local 10 (local10.com)
- Miami Police Shoot, Kill Man Eating Another Man’s Face: Surveillance Video Shows Apparent Shooting, Nude Men On The Ground (destructionist.wordpress.com)
- Naked man eats face of another man (wnd.com)
- Naked Man Killed By Police Eating Victims Face (mymajicdc.com)
- Witness describes face eating man shot by police (local10.com)
- Police Shoot Naked Man Eating Face Off Naked Man (thegatewaypundit.com)
- VIDEO: Man Allegedly Eating Victims Face Shot & Killed by Miami Police! (blacklistednews.com)