Archive for April, 2012
Monkeypox mix-up caused by bedbugs.
Posted by Christopher Maloney, Naturopathic Doctor in Health, Humor on April 27, 2012
Ok, I just read this article and I read it this way: grandma calls the hospital about bug bites. Hospital calls the CDC. CDC goes Rambo and quarantines the plane.
Which brings up the legitimate question, who was playing with monkeys? If monkey pox can only be transmitted by monkey “blood, bodily fluids, or rashes” then when did anyone suspect these children had been wrestling with monkeys? Wouldn’t that have been a really good question to ask mom before quarantining a plane? “Ma’am, have your children had intimate contact with a monkey recently? Sharing food, rubbing bodies, that sort of thing? Did they perhaps eat raw monkey or drink monkey blood before boarding?” Now that would be an interview I’d like to see online. Instead, they didn’t do any interviewing and decided it was monkey pox because children overseas are all obviously monkey pox candidates.
It occurs to me that all I’d need to do these days is mention the word “pox” or even sneeze wrong in an international flight to see myself in quarantine.
So, eerily, when does it all end? Who monitors the CDC to let them know when they are out of line? Who watches the Watchmen? And who makes the next monkey pox call?
Related articles
- Mom’s monkeypox mix-up caused by bedbugs and concerned grandma, son says – CBS News (cbsnews.com)
- Monkeypox Scare Leads to Chicago Flight Quarantine (inquisitr.com)
- Plane Quarantined in Monkeypox Scare [Panic] (gawker.com)
- Son: Bedbug bites caused rash that stopped flight (newsok.com)
- Son: Rash Led to Monkeypox Scare on Chicago Flight (abcnews.go.com)
- CDC: Airline Passenger Didn’t Have Monkeypox (washington.cbslocal.com)
- Flight quarantined at Midway in monkeypox scare – Chicago Tribune (chicagotribune.com)
- Son: Rash led to Chicago flight quarantine (staradvertiser.com)
- Delta Monkeypox Scare: Bed Bugs? (abcnews.go.com)
- CDC: Airline Passenger Didn’t Have Monkeypox (kstp.com)
2nd Heart Attack Grill Victim? Woman Collapses While Eating Burger | Reuters
Posted by Christopher Maloney, Naturopathic Doctor in Health, Humor on April 24, 2012

Supersize Me !! -- The bypass burger strikes again! ... Heart Attack Grill -- 23 April 2012 (Las Vegas) .. (Photo credit: marsmet491)
2nd Heart Attack Grill Victim? Woman Collapses While Eating Burger | Reuters.
Another victim of the Heart Attack Grill. Further down the street, at the “STD Bar,” three dozen patrons frolicked and contracted things from each other. Is it any wonder we have the highest health care bills in the world?
I heard today that New Zealand is considering raising the price of a pack of cigarettes to a hundred dollars. What would you pay for your vices?
Related articles
- Heart Attack Grill Takes Down Another Patron (manolith.com)
- Heart Attack Grill Diner Leaves via Ambulance (blippitt.com)
- Shocker: Unhealthy Woman Nearly Dies While Eating Unhealthy Food At Heart Attack Grill (blisstree.com)
- Heart Attack Grill strikes again? Owner calls diners ‘risk-takers’ – Los Angeles Times (drugstoresource.wordpress.com)
- Diner Suffers Medical Episode at ‘Heart Attack Grill’ (fox8.com)
- Heart Attack Grill Strikes Again: Woman Collapses After Eating At Famed Restaurant (inquisitr.com)
- A person eats a “bypass burger” at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas – CBS News (drugstoresource.wordpress.com)
- Hamburger 2, Human Race 0 (slog.thestranger.com)
- The Heart Attack Grill Is Not The Problem (weightymatters.ca)
- The Heart Attack Grill… (zwingliusredivivus.wordpress.com)
The Feeding Tube Diet: A Magical Weight-Loss Solution? | The Dr. Oz Show
Posted by Christopher Maloney, Naturopathic Doctor in Angst, Health, Humor on April 19, 2012
The Feeding Tube Diet: A Magical Weight-Loss Solution? | The Dr. Oz Show.
I have a question about getting a feeding tube inserted down your nose and into your stomach. Is that a covered medical expense, or strictly out of pocket?
(The following is HUMOROUS. That means don’t do it. But think about it before you have a feeding-tube inserted.)
The layman’s feeding tube diet:
1) long piece of duct tape.
2) one straw.
Instructions:
Pierce duct tape. Insert straw through duct tape.
Place duct tape with straw over mouth.
Drink only one 800 calorie shake through straw. Have as much water as you’d like.
Do not remove duct tape until weight loss is achieved.
Duct tape. It’s what’s good about America.
Related articles
- Brides Use Feeding Tubes to Shed Pounds (myfoxphoenix.com)
- Extreme Weight Loss: “The Feeding Tube Diet” (923now.cbslocal.com)
- Dangers of the feeding tube diet (myfoxny.com)
- Today In Crazy: Brides Are Now Going On Feeding Tubes To Lose Weight (thefrisky.com)
- Feeding tube for weight loss and 3 other stupid health trends (boston.com)
- Feeding Tube Diet the Latest Fad Among Brides-To-Be, Dieters (inquisitr.com)
- Forget the Feeding Tube Diet: 6 Healthy Ways to Lose Weight (self.com)
- Would You Put A Feeding Tube Down Your Nose To Lose Weight? (gizmodo.com.au)
- The Feeding Tube “Diet”: Starvation Redux? (chicfitchef.com)
- Patient: A feeding tube is no fad (cnn.com)
Vitals – Dental X-rays can double brain tumor risk, study finds
Posted by Christopher Maloney, Naturopathic Doctor in Angst, Health, Humor on April 10, 2012
Vitals – Dental X-rays can double brain tumor risk, study finds.
In a bizarre twist, the researchers who discovered the risk increase back pedaled even as they announced their findings. They talked about “recall bias” of patients who do have tumors (they are more likely to have thought back to all those dental x-rays and thought…mmmm….I wonder?)and don’t want people to panic.
They also went out of their way to say that this particular brain cancer isn’t actually that bad. (Compared to what? A puppy? Or a grizzly bear?)
Here’s a tip from the rest of us. If you don’t want us to panic, don’t tell us that dental x-rays double our risk of brain cancer.
But of course they do. Radiation increases cancer risk. All radiation. So when you get your head irradiated every year, your chances of getting cancer go from .000001 to .00001 percent. It’s still small, but it’s significant over time.
Related articles
- Dental X-Rays Linked To Brain Tumors – I Knew It! (blisstree.com)
- Dental x-rays Linked To Common Brain Tumor (revolutioninmedia.wordpress.com)
- Dental X-rays Linked to Brain Tumors (webmd.com)
- Brain Cancer Information (cancercenter.com)
- Brain Cancer Radiation Therapy, Treatment & Side Effects (cancercenter.com)
- Understanding a Brain Tumor Prognosis (everydayhealth.com)
- Brain Cancer Symptoms & Signs (cancercenter.com)
- Cell phones and cancer: Critics say kids risk brain tumors. (abcnews.go.com)
- Cell Phones and Cancer Debate Revived Yet Again (inquisitr.com)
- Donations Made To Angels Among Us and Aimees Army Today To Find A Cure For Brain Cancer/Brain Tumors (haroldcameron.wordpress.com)

